Revelations

It’s hard to believe that there’s only 3 weeks of work left. And that in 5 weeks the contract is over and people will start going home. It’s very weird, because for most of these people I know that I probably won’t see them ever again. Which is so hard to believe! This weekend is the last weekend for most of the german assistants - their university semester starts in April, so they’re skipping the last month of work and going home (so really, they’re only missing 2 weeks of work). There are two german assistants who I’m especially close to - Matthias and Fabian - and they both leave next Friday. They are some of the nicest people I know -they are so very sincere and a lot of fun to be around - and after next Friday I probably won’t see them ...ever.

And that’s the thing. In the next 5 weeks I’ll have to say goodbye to a lot of amazing people. The very best part about this time abroad has been the people - I have friends from all over the world now and I’ve had some absolutely amazing times with them. The good news is, if I ever want to visit Canada, Australia, Trinidad and Tobago, Spain, Germany, Scotland, Ireland, England, Wales, France, Madagascar, India, Réunion, or Mexico - I’m covered! It’s going to be sad to have conversations where you don’t have to go back and forth between a couple of languages and their multiple variations. It’s started to have quite an effect on me - I usually say holiday instead of vacation, you go round to see people (not visit), sometimes the trash can is a bin, wee is used just as often as little and I know what kitchen roll, toilet roll, capsicum, tea (Irish for dinner/supper) and liming mean. I’ll miss it all, so much. Without all these amazing people I’ve had the chance to get to know this experience would have been a lot less fun and, in all honesty, probably miserable.

Being here with all these amazing people is incredible - but the thing is, everyone knows it’s temporary. Which in some ways makes it an interesting dynamic - you hang out with the people you want to be with, don’t have to worry about offending someone and being stuck with them for the next 10 years and most importantly, you do a lot more stuff. When you have limited time with people, you just want to see them as much as possible when you have the chance to do so. It’s an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world -- I’m so glad I got the chance to be friends with so many amazing people. I’ve also learned a lot - both about the world and myself.

In this last week I’ve come to terms with the fact that ... I really do like Phoenix *gasp*! And that, as lovely as France is, it will remain a great place to visit but not somewhere I’d like to live. There’s this idea when you’re in college that, somehow, it isn’t acceptable to like where you grew up. Like you’re supposed to outgrow it, move on and never look back. And that was me. I didn’t like Phoenix, it was boring and uncool and the politics were awful. And here I am across an ocean thinking that Phoenix is pretty awesome. Because, at the end of the day, that’s home. I had always thought that it was people that I was attached to - I never pegged myself as a person who would get attached to a place (especially somewhere as uncool as where I grew up). But I really miss the sunshine, the heat, the cactus, the orange trees and the sense of knowing a place. And sure - I’m missing home and the grass is always greener - but I don’t think that this is a homesickness thing. Phoenix has warts - lots of them - but I like those warts better than the warts I get in France. And, I miss more than my family and friends (who I miss terribly), I actually miss Phoenix. So there it is. I guess I’m not a person who feels a need to live somewhere else. I’m pretty confident that I could stay there a long time and be very comfortable. Maybe when I get home I’ll feel different, but I don’t think so. At the end of the day, I’m a homebody who likes adventures - and genuinely, I’m ok with this. Phoenix may not be the most exciting place, but it’s home and it’s where some of my most favorite people in the world live ... and that’s where I want to be. I’m going to Michigan State University starting next year - and I don’t know how long I’ll be there for, but I do know that Phoenix is a lot closer to East Lansing than Orléans, France. And chances are good that when I’m done with that program I’ll most likely go back to Phoenix.

Except, there’s just one problem. And it’s a big one. And it has a name ... which is ... Seamus. Who is Irish. And who I’m very much attached to. This problem, of course, is not one that can be solved overnight. So, thank goodness for airplanes. Which is really all I can say about that.