This is how I feel about my French speaking abilities:

From the Flight of the Conchords:

Here are the lyrics spelled out:

: Je voudrais une croissant :: I would like a croissant
J: Je suis enchante :: It's very nice to meet you
J: Ou est le bibliotheque? :: Where is the library

J: Voila mon passport :: Here is my passport
J: Ah, Gerard Depardieu :: Oh, Gerard Depardieu
B + J:Un baguette, ah ha ha, oh oh oh oh ::  A baguette
B: Ba Ba ba-ba Bow!
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
B: Et maintenant le voyage a la supermarche! :: And now a trip to the supermarket!
B: Le pamplemousse :: grapefruit
B: Ananas :: pineapple
B: Jus d'orange :: orange juice
B: Boeuf :: Beef
B: Soup du jour :: Soup of the day
B: Le camembert :: Camembert cheese
B: Jacque Cousteau :: Jacque Cousteau 
B: Baguettte :: Baguette!
J: Mais oui :: But yes
J: Bon jour :: Hello
F: Bon jour :: Hello
J: Bon jour :: Hello
F: Bon jour, monsieur :: Hello, sir
J: Bonjour mon petit bureau de change :: Hello my little foreign exchange office
B: Ca va? :: How are you?
L: Ca va. :: fine

B: Ca va? :: how are you?
L: Ca va. :: fine
B: Voila -- le conversation a la parc. :: here is a conversation in the park
B: Ou est le livre? :: where is the book?
J: A la bibliotheque :: at the library
B: Et le musique dance? :: and the dance music?
J: Et le discotheque. :: at the night club
B: Et le discotheque :: and the night club?
J: C'est ci, baby! :: it's here, baby!
J: Un, deux, trois, quatre :: one, two, three, four
B: Ba ba ba-ba bow!
All: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
F: Ou est le piscine? :: where is the swimming pool?
J: Pardon moi? :: what?
F: Ou'est le piscine? :: where is the swimming pool?
J: ...Uh... :: um...

F: Splish splash
J: ...Uh...
F: Eh...
J: Je ne comprends pas. :: I don't understand
F: Parlez-vous le francais? :: do you speak French?
J: Eh? :: um?
F: Eh? Parlez-vous le francais? :: do you speak French?
J: Uh ....No. :: um ... no
F: Hmmm.
B: Foux da fa fa
Foux da fa fa fa fa
Foux da fa fa
Ah ee ah
Ba ba ba-ba bow!

4 days to go and feeling the love

As my handy little countdown at the bottom of the page informs me - there are officially 4 days left before I hop across that big ole pond.  My list of things to do is dwindling - and I'm starting the big goodbyes.  Last night was my final night with Simply Servers - it was a bitch of an event (read: most of my muscles hurt like hell today) - but it was also my last!  I really loved that job, and I will miss it - but I'm happy to be done.  

Tonight my wonderful friends are gathering to give me a big sendoff of Americana.  We are meeting at Heart Attack Grill and then heading to Christina's adorable cottage to drink cheap champagne.  It was planned for me by my wonderful friends Paul and Troy and I couldn't be more excited!  This is the first party I've ever had thrown in my honor.  Before Paul informed me of the good news, I was worried that I wouldn't get to see everyone before I left - but my friends are such wonderful people and planned this for me.  I'm definitely feeling the love on this one!

I've received so many supportive e-mails and notes - and it makes me feel so wonderful.  My dad's sisters and mom will be keeping a candle burning for me for the duration of my trip - which is such a touching and thoughtful thing.  I feel all the more connected to it because during my first trip to Europe I lit a candle for my Grandpa in every church - it is such a moving and powerful experience and I feel so loved and cared for knowing that I'll have one burning for me.

My mom's parents continue to send me funny jokes on a regular basis - and I know that they will worry about me continually.  

One big thing - and one that gives me a lot of peace - is our family friend Silvia.  Silvia lives in Austria and she, along with her husband Peter, met my parents randomly in an airport.  They have stayed in contact ever since - exchanging gifts and e-mails.  Well, Silvia has offered - no, insisted - that I come and stay with her.  But in her last e-mail she also said, "Dear Marie, please tell Anna she should call us if she has any troubles! We will try EVERYTHING to help her!!!" It's nice to know that she is there for me.  I've never met her, but she is just like family.

And, in a final bit of good news - I've been having some luck with my apartment search.  I've been e-mailing various listings during this week and have an appointment set up to see an apartment on September 23rd at 5pm.  The woman that I have been in contact with has been especially friendly and nice.  She knows that I'm American, she's ok with the cat and she understands the situation -- and she still wants to rent to us!  If the place is decent I'm taking it!  

4 days to go!!!  It's adventure time!

A weekend of joy

This weekend has been absolutely fantastic.  It started off with a lot of errands that resulted in a whole host of things for me to bring to France (all of them necessary).  

For example:

- 15 new pairs of socks in 4 different styles and 6 different colors (gotta love the multi color packs)

- a jar of peanut butter (because when you can't eat anything, you can always eat peanut butter)

- big boxes of NyQuil and DayQuil (the French really don't do cold medicine, and since I'll be teaching I anticipate a handful of colds)

- pain reliever (the French have this, but stores have odd hours in France - and pain doesn't wait)

- the biggest container of Tums available (the French love cream, as do I, unfortunately my system does not)

- some magic tooth brush things that don't need water (because airplanes are not good for fresh breath)

- a new pair of sneakers to replace my 5 year old, very well loved pair (which I'll probably pack anyway)

- a new laptop battery (I've had my beloved laptop for 4 years and never replaced the battery - it was time)

Along with a new battery for my beloved iBook G4, I also had it checked for overall computer health.  And it passed!  There is not a single thing wrong with my lovely laptop - which makes me very happy.  The nice people at the apple store also cleaned it - which was very necessary (no more black spots on my nice white computer!).  

Saturday night my dad surprised my mom and I with a spinach, cheese and ham souffle and a berry and whipped cream parfait (and a clean kitchen too)!  It was an amazing meal which was greatly enjoyed with my Mendocino county wine that I'd been saving since Christmas.  I've been slowly drinking my wine collection, since none of them are meant for aging.

Today, we all piled in the car with Razu to have a test airport and car ride run.  The best way for him to feel relaxed on the big day is for him to know that the airport isn't all bad and that he can survive the stressful experience.  I'm happy to report that he did very well.  He didn't cry too loudly in the car, and he was pretty quiet in the airport itself - since I'll have to hold him while I walk through security, I also practiced that.  He hyperventilated a little, but all in all he did well.  After 40 minutes in the airport we went for a drive to Saguaro lake.  Razu sat right next to me the whole way and didn't say anything.  He even cuddled on my lap!  I think he's going to be fine!  Next week we'll do a few more trips to the airport, just to further prepare him.

The trip to Saguaro lake was multipurposed: Take Razu on a car ride, get out of the house and take some pictures of the cacti and landscape to show my French students - so here are a few images:

just love those blue skies

giant cactus

up close and personal

looking up

Mountains, blue skies, saguaros and creosote - what's not to love?

Another great piece of news came when I learned that my health insurance company has decided to cover me until October 1st.  Since my French job (and therefore health insurance) starts October 1 - there won't be a gap in coverage!  

But the very best news of all came from Alain, my contact person.  Whoever said that the French aren't nice, clearly has never met a Frenchmen.  I received an e-mail this morning telling me that I can stay at his mother's flat (she will be visiting a friend).  Not only that, but "you can stay there for a couple of weeks. There is a bus stop just around the corner, and the city center is 15 minutes by bus, a bit longer to go to the school.  She was a bit worried about the cat, but I told her he knows where his box is and is an appartment cat, so there won't be any problem. Just don't use the phone to call your friends in Hawai! ;°)  So don't worry, you'll have a shelter when you come. I'll buy some cat food and cat litter too."

Nicest man ever?  I think so!  Also, I really love that French smilies have noses - I'm using that version from now on!  ;˚)

A little game

Today I'm playing a game called, "This is why I love France". 

I love France because:

the eiffel tower glows at night ...

and there are many cathedrals...

with stained glass windows.

I love France because walk signs look like this...

and bread looks like this.

Because when you are in France you want to run through fields chasing after ducks. 

Because there are signs with no directions...

and you can drink in public.

There are subway stations that smell like pee ...

and there's a lot of amazing art.

But mostly because it's a place you never want to leave. 

And because, as Hemingway once said, "If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast."

home again, home again - if only briefly

It is T-11 days before I leave. And I don't have much left to do (except packing and finding all the last minute things that I'll need).  While I was in California my visa arrived - and boy is it cool!  My contact person is, quite possibly, the sweetest person ever.  He thinks he'll be able to come and get me from the airport when I arrive (which will be such a big help!) and he is pretty confident that I'll have a place to stay (he has even offered to find and book a hotel for me if all else fails)!  Today I double checked with the airline - and my travel plans are confirmed for me + cat.  My money concerns have been eased thanks to some extremely generous birthday gifts.  And I am home - if only for 11 more days.  

Things are starting to feel bitter sweet.  I spent a good deal of the last two weeks extremely anxious - afraid to leave home, scared and dealing with a whole host of emotions.  Today, I feel better (a little excited, even).  I know a lot of it is because I'm home, but a big part of it too is that I'm surrendering myself to the process.  I am a person who likes to feel in control (not obsessively, but I don't like the feeling of being flung into space with no plans), there aren't many ways to feel in control in this process.  But I'm realizing that it's ok.  I'm cutting myself some slack.  I try, often too hard, to put on a persona of being a-ok and strong and tough - but this isn't working.  My mom very wisely said that I am entitled to feeling overwhelmed and upset and scared.  So I am - and I feel 100% better for being honest with myself.  

This past week in California brought a lot of revelations - and a lot of fun too. I was saying to my dear, dear friend Kimmie, how isolating it is to be a college grad.  When you're in school it's easy to sum up your personhood by explaining that "I'm an ASU student".  Creating a sense of identity is a lot harder when you don't have something to classify yourself with.  

So here I stand - I'm a college grad who's leaving home for 7 months to pursue a dream.  I don't know where it will take me, but I know that along the way I will figure it out.  There will be high highs and low lows, but I am now a part of a process - and a damn exciting one at that.  From now on, I'm adopting Obama's motto, but with a slight change - when he used it, I felt empowered for what our nation represents and could become.  So now I'm using it, to feel empowered for who I am and what I will become: Yes I Can.

Procrastination Station (catchy, no?)

I'm not sure if it's because it's hot outside, or if I'm still recovering from my week in the midwest + insane trip to LA, or if I'm too overwhelmed to do anything -- but these last two days / two weeks I feel like I've done nothing.  

Remember that grand post about fixing my French?  Yeah, that was on August 12.  As of this moment I have 19 podcasts that haven't been listened to.  So, basically, using my awesome math skills, (31 - 12 +3) - 19 = I am a bum!   

I have been doing some things, for example: I downloaded about 25 lesson plans, and I bought some fake American money and a map of the US and some flash cards of the States (yay dollar bin at Target!), and Razu's paperwork is all ready (this cat is really expensive - $120 in vet bills, $75 for the carrier, $30 for the harness and leash, plus another $200 each way to fly him), I also called my health insurance and pharmacy (but lost both battles), and I looked up some more apartments and e-mailed my soon to be roommate and two grad school professors -- but each of these things took, like, 10 minutes.  If you add those up it still equals me being a bum.

I had 4 things on my to do list today:

1. go to the bank

2. go to doctor's office to pick up prescription

3. e-mail Alain, my contact person

4. plan birthday

It's 1:50pm and I'm sitting unshowered, in my pajamas -- and no, I didn't go to the bank or the doctor looking like this.  So have I accomplished anything, you might ask?  Well, kinda.  I did more or less plan my birthday (woot!).  I also looked through my new textbook sized vogue, and made myself lunch, and poked around the internet (but I did not e-mail Alain).  Productivity?  Not so much.

So I'm going to click "Publish Post" and haul myself right into the shower ...  (do you believe me?)